I know I’ve been neglecting my little corner of the blogosphere for quite some time now. It’s partially due to an explosion of work craziness, but my pure denial is also to blame. I was going strong (or so I thought) on my return to running about a month or so ago. I was finally able to lace up, cross a few finish lines and score some sweet new PR’s. It was such a good feeling to get back to not only doing what I love, with people that I love, but also to get a little closer to feeling like myself again.
I know that may sound a bit dramatic, but I don’t feel quite like myself when I’m not running. It’s amazing how quickly running and I fell in love with each other and how big of a part of my life it has become. I didn’t really realize it until it was gone. Actually, that’s a lie, I totally knew, but I wasn’t sure how much I was going to miss it until it was taken away from me.
For those of you who don’t know, I got into a car accident last December and things haven’t been quite the same since then. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but hear me out here for a minute. I’m still in and out of doctors’ offices constantly trying to figure out the road back to normal in their opinion. Everyone thinks they have the magic solution and things may start looking up for awhile but nothing has quite solved the problem just yet. I’m still dealing with a lot of symptoms, including headaches, back/shoulder/knee/hip pain, and honestly, I’m sick of it and it’s started to take a toll on me.
My short lived return to running came to an abrupt end when I my physiatrist appointment that I had been waiting for months for finally came. In case you’re unfamiliar, a physiatrist is a rehabilitation doctor that basically treats your body as a whole by examining your symptoms and creating a treatment roadmap to get the patient back to enjoying life as pain free as possible.
To make a long story short, my physiatrist told me I had no business running as of now, needed to limit my activity to biking, elliptical, walking, swimming and yoga for short durations (think 20 minutes a day) and that I needed to go start doing deep tissue massage once a week. He also said that I need to start a second round of physical therapy to treat what he thinks is torn cartridge in my right hip to see if it can be fixed without surgery and if all works out well, I could possibly get back to running by next spring. WHAT?!?!
It took everything I had to not cry right there in the doctors’ office and when I left, I immediately went to the grocery store and purchased a pint of cookie dough ice cream, brownies and magic shell ice cream topping as my comfort food. Ever since that day, I haven’t had the best attitude towards things. My eating habits have went down hill big time and I’ve not really wanted to exercise since 20 minutes of anything didn’t seem worth changing clothes and lacing up for.
After a couple weeks of living a yolo lifestyle towards diet and exercise, things have started to catch up to me. I feel disgusting from all the junk food I’ve been eating, haven’t been coping with life stress very well without exercise as my outlet and my tight clothes have definitely made it known that I’ve put on a pound or two during my rebellion.
Now I’m not saying all of this to get anyone to feel bad for me. This is something I’ve been struggling with for awhile now and I felt like it was the right time to come clean about the good, the bad and the ugly that has been going on to get it off my chest so I can have a fresh start. I also think it’s important to not only talk about your successes, but your failures too so that others in a similar position don’t feel like their in it alone.
No one is perfect, I’m certainly not, but I did make a decision last night to lace up and head to the gym for my doctor prescribed 20 minutes on the elliptical followed by a quick yoga session. I think I may have finally accepted where I’m at and made the decision to accept the doctors’ orders and not push the limits. As distance runners, we’re used to fighting through pain, pushing our bodies and testing the limits but sometimes we need to know when to hold back too.
It may not seem like much, but I’m very proud of my gym session last night even though it was nothing in comparison to what I would normally consider to be a kudos worthy workout. I got my butt off of the couch at 9:45pm, threw the brownies in the trash, laced up and took the first step towards making better decisions and if that’s not kudos worthy, I’m not sure what is.
Questions of the Day:
Have you ever struggled with coming back from a injury?
What’s one tip you use to make getting your workouts in easier on yourself?
We are all our own worst critics; how do you deal with negative self-talk?